Thoughts, ideas and random stuff from Talliestar.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? Not Like This!

Howdy guys 'n' gals! (Actually, it's probably just gals but WTF).

Today I'm going to take my inspiration from Livvie (like I've never done that before!) and have a rant. Said rant shall be about the new series How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?. Prepare yourselves. This is going to be a long haul.

Firstly, when I heard they were going to do a series about Andrew Lloyd Webber finding a girl to play Maria in the new production of The Sound of Music, I was excited. "Yay! A new kind of Musicality!" I said (Musicality being a series about two years ago about finding five unknown people to star in a big West End musical for one night). Then I heard that it was going to be voted for by that most wonderful of peoples, the great British Public. "Oh crap," I thought. "What a sucky idea." You can't let the public vote for something like that! OK, Pop Idol, X Factor, etc. etc. is fine (albeit utter crap) because all the person is getting is a record deal (and money and a car and whatnot) and after one hit Number 1 song they will fizzle out like a snuffed candle. For this, they have to find someone to play a specific part, not just someone with talent, someone who will have to perform eight shows a week in front of two thousand people and carry the entire show on their shoulders. Now whose terrible idea was it to have the public choose who should play it? I wouldn't let the British public choose what I'm going to wear in the morning! That is Reason Why This Show Is Crap Number 1.

Next, those judges are awful. OK, John Barrowman is pretty good looking and very nice and extremely talented (have you heard him sing?). I like him. He's fine. Zoe Tyler, however, does not have a very attractive personality, is trying to be like Simon Cowell and... well, I just don't like her. I know they have to be tough, but you can be tough and supportive as well. The Musicality judges were an ideal example of this. And that guy David Ian... urgh. They say he's the most powerful man in theatre. I've never heard of him! What the heck has he done before? (and that's not sarcastic or anything, I actually want to know). And he's all slimy and... urgh.
Andrew Lloyd Webber is a good composer but he's a bit of a prick and he's just being used by the BBC. They keep going on about how he's a lord. For fuck's sake, thousands of people are lords, it doesn't mean he's that special. That is Reason Number 2.

Moving on, why do they keep getting those girls to sing pop songs??? HELLO, it's a role in a musical, not a record contract. In fact, I know why they do it, it's because they want to rope in lots of viewers (and younger viewers as well) who don't know/want to hear/care about songs from musicals. So they're trying to make it like Pop Idol/X Factor. I mean, with some of the girls, I think they're evry talented and all, but we've never heard them do a musical theatre song so I can't judge how they'd be is they played Maria. I knwo they want to see the girls be versatile and whatnot, but come on! One or two pop songs each is enough, surely. And so we have Reason Number 3.

Urgh, the BBC. I'm sorry, but I just don't like them (no offence to anyone working there, like Claire's mum, unless they're any sort of chief executive or commissioning editor, in which case screw you.) Have you SEEN those adverts they do now? Like the one which says 'Would you commission a sitcom by someone who had never directed, acted, written, or done anything else remotely worthwhile?' (or words to that effect) and then shows that clip from The Office that we've all seen about a million times, and then says 'This is what we do. Haha, aren't we so brilliant and amazing, the BBC.' How arrogant can you get? I know it's just years of bitterness haned down from by parents being turned down by the BBC whenever they propose anything the slightest bit arty or intellectual. Now, I know the BBC's programmes aren't as bad as ITV's, but at least ITV doesn't try to be all clever and posh. They just accept that they aren't. Aaaanyway, after that slight diversion, I hate how they put the programme together. They SO over-dramatise everything and just try to make it be like the other aforementioned singing contest shows. Reason Number 4.

The funny thing is, even though I can't stand how they do the show and put it together and everything, I'm still hooked by it. Livvie, which one do you like? Personally, I think Connie is miles better than all the others, she looks the part, she can act and sing brilliantly, basically, she's perfect. If I were casting it (and God, how I wish I was!) I'd choose her in a nanosecond, no question. She's the only one REMOTELY good enough. That said, all the girls are very talented and could all get parts in musicals, they just aren't right for this particular role.

So even though I can't stand the programme, I can't wait for it each Saturday night, even if it's just to scream at the TV for how badly they're doing it.

Talliestar xxx

P.S. For those of you who have never watched the show, or even heard of it, I'm sorry. This must have been very boring to read.


Anonymous Em said...

John Barrowman is a great actor (even though in his first Doctor Who episode he's damn irritating) and an awesome singer. And yeah it's pretty goodlooking but the fact he's gay kinda spoils it...;)

Beware! I'm music & movie obsessed, and I comment lots....bwahahahaa!

In case you haven't worked it out; Em = Emily = BOV = StageManagement = Sunday ;-)

11:35 AM

Blogger talliestar said...

He's gay? Aww damnit.

Don't worry, I love it when people comment! Especially about movies and music! :)

11:43 AM

Blogger Livvie said...

I agree with you darling. In fact I was watching it on tape just this minute and saying to my mum, isn't it silly how they don't sing songs from musicals. And David Ian is soooo slimy. About Siobahn! Eugh! And yes, I waaaaaay prefer Connie, although I also like Leanne, but think she would be better as the oldest girl. Actually, I'm gonna call you in like two seconds, so there's not much point in writing this. But wtf, everyone loves comments.

And you are soooo wrong about David Krumholtz's hair! It is the groove, (and he is yummy). Period.

12:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont watch it tal but one thing i learnt from your rant, and now i am going to say to you is STOP BEING SUCH A STUCK UP SNOB ABOUT THE BBC. CHENNEL 4-whick you worship and watch 24/7-IS JUST AS BAD IN MY EYES. grrrrr you have got me angry. no extra comment about anything. im not even going to sign my name you know who i am from the thing saying blah blah said...

1:12 PM

Blogger talliestar said...

Claire -
1. Stop commenting anonymously!
2. I understand your point and I agree the programming of Channel 4 is probably about the same quality as the BBC, but it's the attitude of the BBC I don't like.

1:30 PM

Blogger Livvie said...

How do you solve a problem like Tal not posting enough? You poke her, of course! *poke poke poke* Now POST WOMAN!!!

3:49 AM

Blogger Hel Fire said...

I agree that they shouldn't get them to sing pop songs and be voted for by the public - it's just going to turn into another Fame Academy/X Factor/Pop Idol type show, and the winner will be that type, and personally I don't think that's the way to find someone to sing in a musical. You summed it up in the title of that post!

10:25 AM

Blogger talliestar said...

Thanks hel fire, glad to find other people who agree with me!

6:45 AM


Post a Comment

<< Home